Sunday, August 29, 2010

Inception (2010)


Dreams within dreams; it's
Cartesian bank robbers, with
Crying and stuff, too

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Kick-Ass (2010)


What is wrong with this?
Comic was great- this? So dull,
So disappointing.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Shutter Island (2010)


Dear Hollywood guys:
That twist end you like so much?
Fucking obvious

Thursday, August 26, 2010

A Special Haiku About Eli Roth


My friend lusts for him
Me? I prefer his movies
Bear Jew knows horror

Special Nepotism Edition - Book Review of "Fey Girl" by Kevin Newman, a Guy I Went to High School With



Verbose but low key,
punctuated with weirdness.
Starts slow, becomes fun.

Check it out here.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Crazy Heart (2009)


"Walk the Line", without
Johnny Cash or happy end,
but starring the Dude

Monday, August 23, 2010

Hunger (2008)


You can smell the shit
Smeared on the walls of the jail
Unbelievable

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)


First cartoon I've seen
With grave robbing as plot point
Man, I love Batman

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)


So plot's a bit thin
But it's one hundred and twelve
minutes of awesome

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)


For a film about
Sewing people ass to mouth
Surprisingly slow

Rubber (2010)


A great film about
Boy and his dad.  Also, a
Fucking Evil Tire.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hellbound (1994)

Chuck fights evil by
karate kicking Satan.
Should have been better.

Reviewed for the Final Girl Film Club.

Monday, August 16, 2010

High School (2010)

Haven't smoked in years
But man, I laughed my ass off
From start to finish

Robogeisha (2009)

To my great surprise,
Robot Assassin Geishas:
Not that exciting

The Last Exorcism (2010)


Fucking unsettling:
Fabian is terrific
A great, smart movie

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (2009)


Pretty good movie
Harry's less irritating
So much cut from book

Original review is here.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)


A bit disjointed,
With tiresome Angry Harry:
Seems like placeholder

Monday, August 2, 2010

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)


Still enjoyable
But here's where films start failing
To live up to books