Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Best of the series
Probably the only film
That works stand alone

Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage (2010)

So girls don't like Rush
But even Mrs R liked
this amazing flick

The Road (2009)

Wife and I called it
"Feel good movie of the year"
Once we stopped crying

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Harry Potter Two:
Deus ex machina strikes back.
Malfoy's dad's a prick.

The Crazies (2010)

Super tight remake
Showing that farmers could snap
At any moment

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009)

Book too long for you?
Film is the Coles Notes version:
Hits plot, nothing else

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001)

The book, line by line -
Faithful but pedestrian
adaptation.  Fun!

The Wolfman (2010)

Cool werewolf effects
But script wasn't ready for
Light of the full moon

Despicable Me (2010)

Starts clever, becomes
wearisome redemption tale.
Kids liked it, at least.

The Men Who Stare At Goats (2009)

Kind of missed the mark,
since goat killing should be
funnier than this.

Matilda (1996)

Abusing your kids
will give them psychic powers?
Time to get my rod.

The Company of Wolves (1984)

Symbols on symbols
Goofy animatronics
and glacial pacing

Happy Birthday to Moving Pictures

Wow, it's been a year
of good and terrible films,
raping the art form

Thanks, internet, for
your support and your insults
sit tight for year two!

Rocky (1976)

Proves our obsession
for inarticulate but
well meaning meatheads

Monster Dog (1984)

Want to watch out of
morbid curiosity?
Man, don't waste your time

The Lovely Bones (2009)

Not the funnest flick
What with child killing and all
But man, some tense scenes

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008)

Fifty percent great,
Fifty percent retarded.
Beats Part 2 at least.

9 (2009)

For a kids movie
there's sure a lot of corpses.
Kids like corpses, right?

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Reimagining:
Clever, but original
story was better

The Descent 2 (2009)

You like The Descent?
Second verse, same as the first.
Hope part 3 has guns.

Coraline (2009)

Selick's masterpiece
Greatest stop-motion ever
What more can I say?

Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

Umm... who's the hero?
Bereaved dad?  Sleazy DA?
Surprise! No one cares