The Ruins (2008)

Killer plants attack
Somehow this movie's better
Than it ought to be

Robocop (1987)

Part man part machine
He's a bad motherfucker
Omnicorp are pricks

They Live (1988)

Best fistfight ever
Kicks ass and chews bubblegum
Hold the bubblegum

Team America: World Police (2004)

A moving portrait
Of freedom's last defenders
And puppet sex, too

Army of Darkness (1992)

Who else could pull off
"Gimme some sugar, baby"
Bruce Campbell is King

G-Force (2009)

Who cares what I think?

The most telling review: My

Three year old was bored

waydowntown (2000)

Disjointed indie

Well executed premise

Too many filters

Inside (2007)

Deeply unsettling
Horrifying masterpiece
Pregnant? Don't watch it

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Die Hard on a train

Not as bad as you'd expect

Still a bad ass cook

Teeth (2007)

Toothy vaginas
Many severed penises
Ev'ry man's nightmare

The Thing (1982)

Alone in the snow
Frozen - can't trust anyone
Fucking alien

Jason X (2001)

Jason goes to space

And kills a lot of space-girls

What more do you need?

Daddy Day Care (2003)

When I was a kid

Eddie Murphy was the king

Cautionary tale

Bruno (2009)

Very very gay
Very very very gay
Enough, we get it

Above the Law (1988)

Tedious and dull
Even Pam Grier can't save it
Fights look super fake

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Action setpieces
Repeated ad nauseum
What was this about?

Casino Royale (2006)

Bond as Jason Bourne
Ate Roger Moore for breakfast
Brutal, unflinching

Star Trek (2009)

Suddenly Kirk meets
Simon Pegg as Mr. Scott
Cinematic joy

D-War (2007)

Script by teenager
Then translated by google
No other excuse

Under Siege (1992)

Die Hard on a boat
Gary Busey in a dress
Seagal's a badass cook

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

Somehow teenage angst
Is now much more engaging
Than the wizard shit

Hard to Kill (1990)

Steven's ponytail
Making its first appearance
Stuntmen thrown through glass